Confusion say, "verbal contract 
  is not worth the paper it's 
  written on..."

  Ok, man, this is your
  big big chance to get
  some help with your
  miserable earthly 
  existence! This is
  open mike of life
  and Skidd will put
  you straight avoiding
  another tragic suicide.
  And incredibly, there
  is no charge for this
  sage wisdom.
  
  So fill out the advice
  request form... what
  have you got to lose?